Surrender

The word surrender can take on several connotations, both positive (e.g., "to let go or make peace") and negative (e.g., "to give up or quit"). What is the difference between "giving up" and "letting go"?

I was thinking earlier today about all the times I was rejected by others and felt as though they were giving up on me. In the moment, I felt disappointed, frustrated, embarrassed, and sometimes devastated by the loss, but in retrospect, it becomes much easier to believe that it was all for the best. Over time, you learn that letting go is the only way to truly move forward, but it isn't always an easy thing to do. We've been raised to believe that quitting is for losers and giving up is a sign of weakness. To me, "giving up" indicates an end to something good, a defeated resignation from a previously positive experience. "Letting go," on the other hand, represents for me a continuation, a bridge between what once was and what could be, and what "could be" is hopefully a better experience than the previous one. In this sense then, surrender becomes a means to an end, rather than simply an end, as in the case with the notion of giving up. Giving up stems from doubt, insecurity, and fear; letting go, on the other hand, requires trust, faith, and hope. Letting go comes from a willingness to love yourself and others unconditionally.

So when things don't work out the way we want or expect them to, we can see it in one of two ways: We can view it as rejection (we gave up on it) or abandonment (it gave up on us) and trap ourselves in the past by thinking about what we missed out on... or we can view it as a transition between one moment to the next, set ourselves free (i.e., let go) of the past, and propel ourselves forward toward new, more positive experiences. The choice is always ours to make... isn't that wonderful? The time to surrender is NOW. Learn to let go, but never give up.